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You've always known something was wrong with you and I know it too. Now's your chance to let me know just exactly what the hell is wrong with you. Be blunt, be honest, this is probably the first and may be the last time anyone offers to listen to you. Put down the corkscrew, let go of that pheasant, take your hat and jacket off and tell me all about it, you freak-o-nature.

Please fill out completely.
What do people call you?


What is your email address?


Would you like a response from me?
Yes, that'd be great!
No thanks.
I'll leave that up to you

What are you? (Only check one, stupid)
Animal
Mineral
Fowl
Foul
Homo Sapian
Homo superior
Homo Schlomo
Albino Jackrabbit
Piece of Whole Wheat Toast
small piece of lint
Lima Bean
Lima Spleen
letter 'M'
Carrot
Sorry, I have no sensory apparatus and am unable to read this

What's your problem? (Check all that apply)
I'm anal
I have Death Breath
I think I'm a Werewolf, is that too weird?
my spleen is killing me, and you're next!
I'm stoopid
I just don't get it
16 fingers, no thumbs
I'm a big 'ol poopy head
you
this page

What the hell is wrong with your head?

What the hell is wrong with your eyes?

Yuck, what's that on your neck?

Select one if you are a biped...

If you have more or less than two appendiges pick the closest one.

May I have your spleen?

May I have one of your kidneys?

May I have your number?

May I have your first born?

May I have your autograph?

What's with all the spleen references?

Now cut that out!

I'm serious, stop it.

That's it, I'm telling mom.

Use this space to tell me, in your own words, what the hell is wrong with you.





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Remember, I don't sell email addresses, so if you want a reply you can safely fill out your real email address and I'll write back as time permits. The rest of this may be posted in some form, depending on if it's funny or not. So go ahead, be funny why don'tcha! Well c'mon, be funny! NOW DAMMIT, BE FUNNY!