You've always known something was wrong with you and I know it too. Now's your chance to let me know just exactly what the hell is wrong with you. Be blunt, be honest, this is probably the first and may be the last time anyone offers to listen to you. Put down the corkscrew, let go of that pheasant, take your hat and jacket off and tell me all about it, you freak-o-nature.
Remember, I don't sell email addresses, so if you want a reply you can safely fill out your real email address and I'll write back as time permits. The rest of this may be posted in some form, depending on if it's funny or not. So go ahead, be funny why don'tcha! Well c'mon, be funny! NOW DAMMIT, BE FUNNY!